he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
