I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
