69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
