Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
