she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
