why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
