Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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