Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
