what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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