Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
