OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
