Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
