I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
