as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
