Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
