Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
