just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
