I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I forget how to act sober
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
