We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
