toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
