omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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