That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
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She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
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He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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