i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
