don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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