So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
