the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
