I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
