I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
