I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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