in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i believe in u and ur pee
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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