I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
