I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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