Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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