look no pants
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
All the doctor said was why
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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