i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
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So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
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I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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