how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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