Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
