sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize