No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
