i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
