I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
