ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
