Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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