Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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