meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
