butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
