it wasn't lemon gatorade
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
