He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
