My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
