She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
