Just mADE A PArabola og urine
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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