i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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