I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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