So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
