At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
