I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
