I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Two words: nipple clamps
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