and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
