I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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