Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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