so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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