she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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